Events of note since my last post…
Court date went ok, my lawyer argued that the motion itself doesn’t meet the requirements of the statute, and should be dismissed. Court commissioner requested that my lawyer write a “memo” citing the case law and statutes that support our argument. We have until 3/16 to submit that to the court, then EX’s lawyer has until 4/6 to respond. Then the court commissioner makes a ruling and either the motion is dismissed or we move forward with a guardian ad litem.
Things with AC are progressing, albeit slowly. I *finally* received confirmation of boyfriend / girlfriend status, which, as I’ve said, makes me feel like a 7th grader, but I wanted the label, however childish that may seem. It somehow validates the feelings I have towards him, and gives me a little more confidence in the feelings he has towards me. Plus, it makes me feel a little less like a tramp for sleeping with this guy for 4 months now. As sexually liberated as I’d love to claim I am, I still have nagging self-criticism when it comes to casual sex. Of course, he goes to jail for his DUI soon, for 45 days, so the timing doesn’t leave much room for celebration. Also, the very fact that I’m now the girlfriend waiting for her boyfriend to get out of jail is a tiny bit disturbing. On the other hand, to *not* be the girlfriend, but *still* be waiting, would have been even more disturbing. I’m trying not to let the situation bother me too much, though. Good people make stupid choices sometimes. I’ve certainly made my share. He seems to be a genuinely good guy, otherwise it would probably bother me more than it does. Right now it just nags at the corner of my thoughts once in a while, and is easily dismissed. It’ll be interesting to see how much it affects me over the next 45 days, though. We shall see, I suppose…
KB decided she wanted to get in touch with her biological dad (BD). I’ve always told her it was up to her, and that whenever she decided she wanted to, I would make it happen. I think with EX out of the picture, she’s less worried about hurting his feelings, and has gotten pretty excited about reconnecting with BD. I got in touch with him, explained the situation, we had a couple phone calls and exchanged several e-mails. KB was nervous about contacting him first, and felt like she didn’t know what to say. BD offered to e-mail her first, which I thought was quite clever of him. Also, I’m sure it was nerve-wracking for him as well, so I’m pleased that he’s already showing that he’s willing to do the hard work to make it easier for KB. So, he sent her an e-mail, and it was *really* good. Really. He did an awesome job. And she was thrilled to read through it, and replied right away. She sent her reply last night, and he already replied to her again this afternoon. So far it’s going quite well. I have high hopes that it will continue to go smoothly. He’s about 6 hours away from us (or so I’m told, I’ve not google mapped it myself). So it’s a relationship that will develop slowly, but hopefully that will make it even easier on KB. I’m sure she’s going to want to meet him, and I’m a little anxious over how that will work out, but I’m really happy for her. And so, so proud. She’s handling everything like a champ.
KB had a choir thing this past weekend… where the kids do a solo or a duet in front of a judge (it’s through the school district), and then the judge critiques them. We were there a bit early, but her duet partner was late. KB got quite panicked about it, and thought she might not show up. She was in the hallway near tears, and completely stressed out. Her duet partner finally arrived, and we went in. The girls sang, but it was not KB’s best, she was stressed out after all, and at the end she made a mistake and let out a nervous giggle. She knew it was bad, and of course was already humiliated about the whole thing. The judge found it necessary to say to her, in a very stern voice, “the music doesn’t deserve that behavior, the listeners don’t deserve that behavior, it’s entirely unacceptable”. In front of several other people in the room. He then proceeded to tell her and her duet partner that the song they chose was easy, that it was stuff any 2nd grader could do, and had them sing back a few lines to him again. I was fighting back tears, I felt so terribly for her. She was fighting back tears of her own. It was miserable. I can’t stand it when adults in a position of authority are so condescending and discouraging. There are ways to say “not your best performance” without coming across as a cantankerous old man who likes to pick on little girls. She’s 12 for crying out loud. The world’s not ending, nobody died, no ambulances were required. At that age, kids are so self-critical as it is, they really don’t need to be beaten up over mistakes that are, really, of minimal consequence.
Work is… well, it’s work. It’s stressful and boring, challenging and tedious, all at the same time. Working with EX certainly doesn’t make it any better. Did I mention he was selling girl scout cookies for the new gf’s daughter? Literally made me want to vomit. I wonder how long he thinks he can keep the act up. And I wonder how long the new gf’s going to buy it. Whatever. It’s not my problem anymore, thank goodness. Now if only he would just leave us alone entirely, that would be fantastic.
Finally took step one on the bankruptcy and paid the attorney’s fees… Now I have to gather up a crap-ton of documentation and get it submitted to the attorney. I’m not looking forward to that, at all. A lot of the information they’re asking for, I don’t even know if I have access to, since EX always handled paying the bills (so that he could spend without inhibition). It’s going to be a painful process… and I’m not even sure where to start. Ugh.